Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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