making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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