i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
