Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize