Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
