and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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