I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
