Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
