yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I didn't notice because vodka
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
