Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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