A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
