The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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