Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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