Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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