She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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