Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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