I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
