I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just gargled with NyQuil
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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