no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
