For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
