dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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