im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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