Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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