I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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