I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
