I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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