if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
