Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
