Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals

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(858): View more from California

I'll start drinking again when I know where I am

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(815): View more from Illinois

His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.

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(559): View more from California

he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.

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(478): View more from Georgia

You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable

(318): View more from Louisiana

You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.

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(805): View more from California

Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I totally fucked your pastor last night.

(1-304): View more from West Virginia

You're his wife.

(304): View more from West Virginia

Still a dirty get down.

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