he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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