i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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