I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
