I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
