Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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