Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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