When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I look better un-naked...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize