At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
