she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
NoShamevember. You game?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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