amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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