Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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