we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
