I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize