i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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