Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
