I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
