With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
