my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize