margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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