Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
