Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize