This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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