Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
