I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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