Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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