this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
