I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
